So I got a job…well, a contract job. I am trying to be excited about it but I was really hoping to find something that would be permanent and offer good benefits and maybe a little more money. BUT I will be working by the time that I move in with Jenna which is a huge blessing. Just to know that money will be coming in will be a huge relief! I am trying to work on my attitude about it because its with Hilton Worldwide which will be kind of fun and they do seem to keep their contractors on staff. The contract is actually through December so that gives me some time to really figure out what my next move is going to be and supposedly they do tend to keep on their contractors. There are also a lot of younger people there, so hopefully will open the door to new friends and such! So really, I should be excited, but I just didn't expect to actually end up in a temporary job.
But the most exciting part of it is that it doesn't start until the 25th, so….I get to come home for a little bit!!! I miss my family, realized I left stuff at home that I wish I hadn't, and I will get to see friends!! Everyones initial response is "are you going to go back to Dallas if you go home?" OBVIOUSLY YES, as hard as it has been, I am so excited that in just a few weeks I will be working and in an apartment! I have almost made it through the initial part of this process! I am starting to feel a little bit more comfortable here and am ready to start making friends!
Next adventure is going to be buying a bed (which I found out today….I am really bad at, I have no idea how to get a cheap one….very frustrating!) and I need to get my car inspected, license plates, toll pass, and insurance. These things STRESS ME OUT! But its fine, I can do this, its like watching your money just fly out the window!!
So the journey continues….God has been faithful!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I don't even know...
Today, as I continue to receive rejection after rejection, I thought I would take the afternoon to just spend some time in the Word and listening to some truth on podcasts. I think I was looking for a different kind of encouragement than I got :).
What I have realized….God asked me to move. Just because I obeyed doesn't mean that I get a treat, a.k.a. a perfect job. There is no reward and no reward should be expected. I did simply what He asked. Will He provide according to His will and His plan, yes. Is it going to blow my mind? Most likely, no….unless He will be the one glorified through it. He didn't bring me down here to make my life easier. He asked me to move, because He knows the end of the story. I want the fairytale, but He desires the journey. I think this is what He has been trying to get through my head for years. Just because of what has happened in my life doesn't mean I get an upgrade on the blessings. He only requires that I trust….but it nearly kills me to wait for Him to move.
I never realized how controlling I am. In the past few weeks I have seen that SO clearly. Knowing that someone else is cutting my clients hair, someone who I haven't seen cut hair before, someone that I haven't debriefed on what to do and what not to do. What does it really matter? There are many talented hairdresses, many FAR MORE talented than me. I want to control which job I get (which I think is really really normal) but feel like I have absolutely no idea how to let it go and just trust God with it completely. I want to control how people view me, how I come off to people, all those normal things to. I have a vice grip on the control of my life and God is fighting HARD to rip it from my grasp. Obviously His mere breath could catapult it out of my hands, but as I have said, its more about the lesson than just taking it from me.
I listened to a past sermon from Matt Chandler today called the angst of waiting. He spent a majority of the time giving a recap of the journey of Israel until the time of Christ. The first person he spoke on was Abraham. Sometimes I forget that he waited and he waited and he waited for the Lord to bring him a child. He was 100!! I think 29 is old, good grief…..not that this is about having children. Its about the Lord having timing that makes little sense to us….because Abraham being that old is quite a head scratcher to me. And throughout the rest of the history, what a back and forth journey had….all because they would not turn their hearts and repent, Lord I pray that is not me. After that I moved on to my Anne Graham Lotz devotional (its called Into the Word and I recommend it to everyone, its a year long book, and I break the weekly lesson up into smaller sections because you are really digging into the Word for each question!) Its in Hebrews reviewing the saints of chapter 11 and then looking at the life of Christ and all the obstacles He faced. Why do I think He will deal with me differently? Why would I want Him to?
So after receiving rejection emails from 2 of my top 3 jobs, I am waiting. I am TRYING to let go and not be anxious. I am trying to remember that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I am trying to remember that God is bigger than my lack of experience in any one area, bigger than my deficiencies, bigger than my fears.
What I have realized….God asked me to move. Just because I obeyed doesn't mean that I get a treat, a.k.a. a perfect job. There is no reward and no reward should be expected. I did simply what He asked. Will He provide according to His will and His plan, yes. Is it going to blow my mind? Most likely, no….unless He will be the one glorified through it. He didn't bring me down here to make my life easier. He asked me to move, because He knows the end of the story. I want the fairytale, but He desires the journey. I think this is what He has been trying to get through my head for years. Just because of what has happened in my life doesn't mean I get an upgrade on the blessings. He only requires that I trust….but it nearly kills me to wait for Him to move.
I never realized how controlling I am. In the past few weeks I have seen that SO clearly. Knowing that someone else is cutting my clients hair, someone who I haven't seen cut hair before, someone that I haven't debriefed on what to do and what not to do. What does it really matter? There are many talented hairdresses, many FAR MORE talented than me. I want to control which job I get (which I think is really really normal) but feel like I have absolutely no idea how to let it go and just trust God with it completely. I want to control how people view me, how I come off to people, all those normal things to. I have a vice grip on the control of my life and God is fighting HARD to rip it from my grasp. Obviously His mere breath could catapult it out of my hands, but as I have said, its more about the lesson than just taking it from me.
I listened to a past sermon from Matt Chandler today called the angst of waiting. He spent a majority of the time giving a recap of the journey of Israel until the time of Christ. The first person he spoke on was Abraham. Sometimes I forget that he waited and he waited and he waited for the Lord to bring him a child. He was 100!! I think 29 is old, good grief…..not that this is about having children. Its about the Lord having timing that makes little sense to us….because Abraham being that old is quite a head scratcher to me. And throughout the rest of the history, what a back and forth journey had….all because they would not turn their hearts and repent, Lord I pray that is not me. After that I moved on to my Anne Graham Lotz devotional (its called Into the Word and I recommend it to everyone, its a year long book, and I break the weekly lesson up into smaller sections because you are really digging into the Word for each question!) Its in Hebrews reviewing the saints of chapter 11 and then looking at the life of Christ and all the obstacles He faced. Why do I think He will deal with me differently? Why would I want Him to?
So after receiving rejection emails from 2 of my top 3 jobs, I am waiting. I am TRYING to let go and not be anxious. I am trying to remember that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I am trying to remember that God is bigger than my lack of experience in any one area, bigger than my deficiencies, bigger than my fears.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
2 WEEKS DOWN!
Whew, I have made it 2 weeks! Can you believe it? I sure cant! I just had to look at my planner to see it I was right about the 2 weeks. Still feeling a little foggy but I guess thats what you get when you aren't working and in a totally new place!
One of the things I LOVE is the church that Jenna and Jodi go to. I love the people, the ministries and the preaching! It is so nice to not need to church hop. I like it, I am staying!! I went to the Village Church on Saturday night to see "flat Matt," Matt Chandler. What an incredible man of God who can truly speak of the goodness of the Lord through his life threatening cancer. Sunday morning I got the hear the preaching at Watermark for the first time and was so blessed and encouraged by both times with the body. So big praise!
I am still on this crazy job hunt. I am tired of it. I am not known for my patience and so this is a great character building opportunity :) I am waiting to hear something on the 2 interviews that I have had and today I have a totally random job interview with the Toyota dealership to be a sales person there. Not quite what I would see myself doing but honestly, there are benefits, a base salary and a signing bonus…its sounding pretty good right now!! I have put a good amount of effort into trying to get a job at Women of Faith and I would say that Lord has definitely made it clear that He is closing that door. Now that I have tried multiple avenues and I feel like someone actually reviewed it rather than just their computer system, I can surrender that desire to the Lord and move on! So I have no idea what the Lord is going to provide, but I am still feeling confident that He will…..even though this wait is definitely not my favorite!
I have loved connecting with some old friends now that I am here. So great to really have some fun time with Jodi and see her in this new season of life as she is a wife and serving in full time ministry! Also so great to see my friend Hillary, we had such a fun friendship back in high school and have seen each other on and off since then. It was so much fun to be able to hang out at her house and really catch up. I love having these friendships to grow again! And obviously Jenna, poor Jenna gets more than enough of me! But she has continued to be a great support, cheerleader, and friend!
So right now I am just really learning to surrender to the Lord, all that I want and all that I feel that I need and trust Him even when it is terrifying to see all these people around me who have been unemployed for months! I am continually reminded that He is God, He is the I AM, and He is my provider. He has it all figured out and my anxiety is only getting in my way, not His!
One of the things I LOVE is the church that Jenna and Jodi go to. I love the people, the ministries and the preaching! It is so nice to not need to church hop. I like it, I am staying!! I went to the Village Church on Saturday night to see "flat Matt," Matt Chandler. What an incredible man of God who can truly speak of the goodness of the Lord through his life threatening cancer. Sunday morning I got the hear the preaching at Watermark for the first time and was so blessed and encouraged by both times with the body. So big praise!
I am still on this crazy job hunt. I am tired of it. I am not known for my patience and so this is a great character building opportunity :) I am waiting to hear something on the 2 interviews that I have had and today I have a totally random job interview with the Toyota dealership to be a sales person there. Not quite what I would see myself doing but honestly, there are benefits, a base salary and a signing bonus…its sounding pretty good right now!! I have put a good amount of effort into trying to get a job at Women of Faith and I would say that Lord has definitely made it clear that He is closing that door. Now that I have tried multiple avenues and I feel like someone actually reviewed it rather than just their computer system, I can surrender that desire to the Lord and move on! So I have no idea what the Lord is going to provide, but I am still feeling confident that He will…..even though this wait is definitely not my favorite!
I have loved connecting with some old friends now that I am here. So great to really have some fun time with Jodi and see her in this new season of life as she is a wife and serving in full time ministry! Also so great to see my friend Hillary, we had such a fun friendship back in high school and have seen each other on and off since then. It was so much fun to be able to hang out at her house and really catch up. I love having these friendships to grow again! And obviously Jenna, poor Jenna gets more than enough of me! But she has continued to be a great support, cheerleader, and friend!
So right now I am just really learning to surrender to the Lord, all that I want and all that I feel that I need and trust Him even when it is terrifying to see all these people around me who have been unemployed for months! I am continually reminded that He is God, He is the I AM, and He is my provider. He has it all figured out and my anxiety is only getting in my way, not His!
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